The game princess
by tsukiine
Summary: This story start some time after the second book ends. Jeck and Tess are trying to cooperate when an unknown enemy and a concerned Contessa puts them in their most confusing game yet. Tess has to learn how to play with feelings and do it good to se the end of this game.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything else god. They all belong to the amazing Dawn Cook._

_A/N: T his is the firs fic, or story at all I have decided to let others read. So please be nice, but feel free to give advice for improvements. English is not my first language so there is bound to be both some spelling and grammar issues. I like to apologise for those already. Enjoy!_

Chapter 1

Tess looked out of the window in her room. Trying to massage the ace from her temples and wondering how this new game had come to be so complicated.

The whole mess had started some months ago, over a lunch with my sister. Contessa had asked how it was going whit Jeck, and I had started on a polite and correct answer when Contessa suddenly slapped her small hand in the sturdy wood table. An old gesture from her country upbringing no doubt, and with a very un-queen like curse she said that she did not care about any diplomacy answer.

"Any human with two eyes in their head can se that you and Jeck love each other, and if you Tess is the only one unaware, you is dumber than a newborn chicken!"

She continued to proclaim;

"As your sister I want your happiness, and did definitely not plan to let the rumours go wild when in the meantime you are both to well behaved to do more than look at each other and moan. Let it be that Jeck is no royalty but that is not to stop anything!"

I had thought something of how the word well-behaved must be one of the last words in the dictionary to describe Jeck, but didn't say anything about it.

I had mostly sat in silence and felt amazed at how sincere my sister was. Of Contessas words I imagined this was a matter she had brooded on a lot. That in itself was interesting because I had believed I by now had learned to read my sister like an open book. I also sent a silent thank-you prayer to whoever listened, that our queen only speeches like this when we are in relatively privacy. All these thoughts went thru my head before I started to worry about the matter in itself. There was no meaning in trying to change the subject yet, so I had just listened for the moment.

Contessa had no knowledge about my apprenticeship that led me to spend a lot of my free time with Jeck. To train, play or just discuss the kingdom and the ongoing game with all that came with that. That I really like the darn drot to captain is not something I am planning to admit to a living soul. I decided the best way to play this unexpected event out was to try and stop it before it grew anymore. (All the rumours about me and Jeck that flew around in the castle and city were more than enough already. It was some amazing things I had to admit if they would have had the tiniest seed of truth in them.)

So when the right moment arrived I jumped into the flow of words and stopped Contessa midsentence.

"I understand your worry, but it is not a matter a queen can solve. And as your sister I am glad that you worry about me, but I want to live life my own way."

After a start on a complaint from Contessas side and feints from me, I managed to change the subject to the king that at that moment was out of the palace on a trip in the country. That Jeck had followed alone to play his game annoyed me, but it also gave me a well needed break to take care of the things around me here without worrying when he might turn up and distract me. Not that he probably is even aware of it or can do much about it; I have to admit but still…

My head starts to feel better and I enjoy the silence and fresh air in my rooms. To think that such a trivial meal could send the sparks to all the mess I am in right now, just terrific! A knock on the door did the job of sending me back to reality. That sturdy sound was impossible to mistake so I just said tiredly.

"Yes captain Jeck, you can enter."

I went in the direction of the door and in the same time tried to flatten my dress that had got in disorder when I'd been sitting.

"Princess Thess so lovely to meet you today, and here of all places!" Jeck says with a voice full of sarcasm at the formal and polite words.

It is no wonder I thought, after all I have done my best to avoid him the last week.

Jeck continue, determination in his voice:

"We have to talk, in private."

I know that means a horse ride out of the city. He feels the most at ease when he can get free of all ears and eyes on him. I look directly up at him and ask firmly;

"Is that an order or a suggestion?"

"Take it as whatever you feel like! Just make sure you are ready to leave the palace in half an hour. See you in the stable." He says with his sturdy voice

"Is it really wise? Considering everything that is going on?" I have to ask.

I already know by his look that this time it is no meaning to try and get away from him. But I can at least try! He gives me a long look I can't read, and say a little lower, almost friendly.

"Especially with what's going on, and how you have reacted to it I think this is exactly what is needed at this point in time."

I let my eyes linger on my hands a moment; remembering our teachings session in healing. It always was a really relaxing atmosphere on those lessons. Taking comfort in the memory, I look up at him with new energy and say:

"If you want me there in time you need to get out so I can change clothes, so be gone now!"

I shoo him out of my rooms. Muttering about the half-smile he has on his face.

"Think that you see something funny ha?" I say to the room in general.

He just let out a small laugh and closes the door with the words:

"See you soon darling."

The shoe I throw after him make a loud noise as it bump of the wooden door and go down on my thick carpet.


	2. Chapter 2

As I hurry to change clothes, my mind wander to the last time Jeck and I had a discussion in private. About one and a half month after the meal with Contessa. I had been having one of my regular chess evenings with Jeck.

We had been putting out the pieces in the starting positions in one of Jecks comfortable rooms. I had a losing game from the last time we played I planned to revenge this evening.

"So how was your trip with Alexander?" I asked with the eyes on the chessboard. They had got back to the castle the day before. These evenings were also our time to discuss the game Jeck was playing at the moment.

I remember how I with hidden delight followed how his big hands carefully handled the small pieces.

"It went well. Both Alexander and I are staring to get a grip of the country's more deserted places and the different commercial routes." He answered slowly, almost like his mind was on something else altogether.

"And the status and continuation of your game?" I asked carefully. It was not always he approved of me asking about what he had in mind.

"Yes about that, Alexander wanted to discuss a really interesting thought I think will help us a lot."

Here he had a small pause to place the first move on the board, a pretty bold opening.

He continued to speak wile I answered his move.

"He wanted to give his blessing to our future and help us plan an engagement for us.

A sharp sound came when the chessboard fell over. Standing tense I asked what exactly he meant by that. He looked directly at me and said:

"Thess please sit down, if you get to hear all info I has it will make sense. I have considered a lot of positive effect in both big and small this will lead to."

By now I paced from one side of the room to another. Unable to stand still, Contessa must have a finger in this mess; I was certain of it.

"You already know that myself and Kavelhows switching of playing fields had as a side effect that our identities as players among the others is most certain revealed. And consider on top of that all the rumours the city people is making up on our behalf. I have for a time been worried about that your place in the game will be guessed by a less than friendly player. With your special circumstances that would not be good at all… "

"But!" I tried to interfere

"But with this idea we can make an identity for you as my lover. T o have a piece close to me is considered stupid by other players but nothing they can use against us or our game. If they capture you for ransom or blackmail they can probably not guess your status in the game as you have no darts or other visibly sign on you. Then you are in a perfect position to find out info or capture them in your turn."

I could see the logic, all right. But I could still not think of doing this just because he saw some meek profit in it.

"Why don't I get a say in it?" I asked angrily. He did mot answer right away so I continued:

"It is a position that will last for several games and what about my feelings?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Something glinted in Jecks eyes; I caught a glimpse of it before he bended over to pick up some of the scattered chess pieces.

His head still down, he answered with controlled voice;

"It becomes what you want it to be. Like every roll we play in the life we have chosen."

I did not give him an answer on that, just rushed out of his rooms to wander aimlessly in the castle the rest of the evening. Banner my only companion. I couldn't see right away why his answer had made me run for it, but concluded there were two possible reasons why he suddenly had taken up this whole darn subject.

1. He did not think of me in any romantic, (or barely even friendly) way at all, and vas totally unaware that I did not feel the same.

2. He did actually have feelings for me and vas worried of my safety, and decided to go over my head to ensure it.

No matter if it was theory 1 or 2, I was just as angry because he seemed to think I was some kind of meek lady who waited to be swept of her feet, and he had no right to decide such a ting for me. I carefully ignored the little voice in my head that whispered that everything was probably planned out by Contessa in a miscarried concern for my private life. It was much easier to blame Jeck head on.

While I had gone thru the past in my head to prepare mentally for this test, I had got dressed walked out of the castle and brushed pitch, almost on autopilot. As I took the saddle and reined pitch I once again cursed Jeck and all his clever ideas. Pitch just pushed on my hands for a treat.

"I am so happy that you agree" I told him and fished out a handful of corn from one pocket.

After that last chess evening I had dived into my private work, avoided Jeck for all I could manage, and mostly talked with Contessa in public there we was bound of the strict social rules. Apparently had Jeck now got feed up on my cat and mouse game, probably because I was so good at it. I always have a feeling exactly where or when I have to be to make it impossible for him to talk to me or drag me away; it hadn't stopped him from trying thou.

As I sat up on my big horse Jeck came with his horse, a big grey gelding named storm. He often joked she was named after me, and stubborn as a mountain.

"Are you feeling ready to go on a nice little stroll with me princess?" He asks sarcastic

"Always ready!" I answer, determined to keep my head high and hold to my own pride no matter what he can try and come up with.

"So let's get going then." He says with a happy laughter as he hurries Storm out from the castle. I wonder why in chupitt he is in such a good mood today, as I hurried after. We were silent, watched the people around us as we go thru my city. Outside the city wall we take a fast pace for a while until we is truly alone on the countryside. Only a couple of birds watch us as we slow down and ride up side to side on the grassy path. This is a rout we use quite often.

"So now what?" I ask defensive.

"I would like to know why you have taken such an offense by my proposal." He says formally, I can't even hear any sarcasm in his voice."

I glance sideways to him. Suddenly I feel unsure of myself.

He sits with a straight back, looking out in the distance. I try to figure out a question of my own to buy some time. I had expected there'd be a lot of ordering around and remembering speeches of how he was the master player and I should obey. I was not prepared for this straight and weird honesty.

A small gust of wind is hurrying past me, whispering one of its damned truths in my ear. I sighs deep, and pushing it forward away from me.

"I didn't even hear a proposal" I finally say

"Because you didn't exactly give me a chance, running away and all that." He says carefully

After a pause, when I look at a rabbit washing itself under a bush before it hears our horses and ran away, I continued.

"…well, I don't like people around me trying to plan my life for me. I have had more than enough of that in my life as it is."

"What if I say I have put a lot of thoughts into this matter and cant se any other way that let us keep our positions both in the game and outside it." He says and looks at me.

My stomach does a little joyous flip without my agreement at his word. I am careful to hold my face blank as I say:

"I just don't know if I will be able to keep apart one more roll with all the other different rolls that has been built up around me over the years. Soon I will not find a *me* in them anymore."

He lets Storm find the most suitable way by herself as he continues to look at me. My body feel warm, the treacherous thing! I can't even count on my own body to behave I thinks as I feel I am beginning to blush of the intensiveness.

"I can't promise you a normal life. I can't even promise you the kind of attachment you are dreaming of." He says voice low in the sound from the wind and horses.

"But I truly care for you, and this is the only way I know how to live. To play my life is to live my life for me. Can you accept a played engagement to ensure a good life and a good play as far as I can see?"

I got a lump in my throat and don't know how to behave. I want to hug him, kick him and run away, all at the same time. So much for my resolve earlier…

I scrap up some bravery from an unknown source in myself and catch his eyes:

"I can accept what you have offered, but never think I am less of myself for it. If I think something is wrong, let it be game or personal you will hear of it either directly or in the same way as we played it out in the beginning."

He does a grimace in reminiscent, and then give me a big smile.

"You just made everything a lot easier for me Thess. I had feared that I had to argue with you till the day the earth ended. Maybe even knock you silly to drag you to safety." He says with sparkling eyes.

I could only grin back at him as I said:

"Like I would let you! You know, Contessa is probably going to have you knighted for this at the least. Silly girl to mess with my life almost as much as I have messed up in hers. I have to admit your play is top notch at the moment." While I was continuing the joking a strange feeling started to creep all over me. What had I agreed on? What would happen now? Unwanted images were inside my head no matter how desperate I tried to kick them out.

"The best played game is when no fake feelings are needed." He said

It took several moments for me to connect his sentence to my compliment of his game earlier.

We were now at the top of a hill and looked out over the farmland around us, with the city and sea farther away. We usually sit of here; Jeck did so even this time. I follow of my horse uncertain, the silence hanging heavy on us. I and Jeck stand close to each other; I can feel his special smell and linger in it as I often do in secret.

"Please Thess don't try to kill me! I hear Jeck say with something that sounds almost like fear in his voice.

And before I have time to think of the meaning of the words he just said, he turn towards me and give me a strong kiss on the lips. The sensation is amazing; it went thru my whole body like a lightning. It is shortly over, so before I have a chance to collect my scattered thoughts he step back with his hands up; a mix of apology and mischief written on his face now.

"Why?" I stammer eyes big with surprise.

"Two reasons." He answers. Firstly we are at this moment seen of the very eyes that we need to convince, and second … Well I don't know, maybe the goods has punished me by whacking my brain; but I have had such an wish to try to do that for awhile now; Death or no death."

He quickly take me around the hip and drag me close, my head does a spin. In my ear he whispers:

"We still have those evil eyes watching us at this moment. I'm afraid we have to go fast forward. Please be gentle and don't destroy the picture of a lovely couple out to get some private time. I will explain everything when we are back in the palace again."

"Is this not some crazy play you are entertaining yourself with of whatever reason, because I can't see even one human?" I have to ask him in a low voice. If he is so wacked he kisses me out of the blue, he can sure be wacked enough to come up with something as unlikely as this story.

"Se that rabbit there, with the strange green eyes?" He answers equally low.

He led my eye towards the creature with his own and did not so much as bend another muscle to give away he had seen it.

When I saw the little creature the hair on my neck rise, it felt wrong in more than one way.

"Alright I believe you," I say to Jeck.

"But what do you think we should do now, what is it even? It feels so unnatural." My throat feels dry of al the whispering in the wind, trying to look all lovely was exhausting for me.

"My suggestion is that we should try one more kiss, one that says: (We do this often but always feels we have not enough time alone, we must part for this time but don't want to!). Then get up on the horses and race back."

I feel lightheaded, but at least I manage to whisper back:

If you don't have a really good explanation on this and the rest you seem to has been up to you will not… I trailed of, leaving the sentence without a proper end.

So with an unreal feeling, I bend forward and kiss him. I have to do it before I have tome to change my mind. His fast response surprises me. I can't feel any nervousness or insecurity from him. None of us want to let go directly this time. It feels like I fall into myself. He takes a better grip around my arms to get closer and the spell is broken. I wake up from the feelings and part quickly. Just so I with a loud shout can jump up on pitch pack and let him run as fast he can. Jeck is a little later in the start but will eventually catch up with me when the hill plans out.

The wind and the fast pace don't seem to be able to drown all of the different feelings I have just experienced, but the rhythmic sound of Pitch hooves when he trust them in the ground ease some of my confusion. I decide that from here on I have no choice other than to jump on this crazy confusing game we have started, and just se where it ends; with no regrets whatsoever, I am a player.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In the next morning I wake up to a gray weather with a light drizzle outside my room. Quickly I get into a simple dress and try to sneak out before Heater will find me and harass me about the rumours she has been hearing in the city. It is not nice of me to try and evade her when she takes time of her business to come and see her old friend but I really don't think I can handle her right now.

"Princess" A guard tries to get my attention as I hurry down a corridor in direction of the kitchen. I wave him of and hurry on. After escaping three more concerned guards my prize is some hot breakfast, honestly stolen from a plate put on warm-holding. Now I am on the run out to the garden where I hope I can get some privacy in the wet weather.

Banner make me company once again; the big dog is allowed to come and go as he want in the castle on my order. I absentmindedly pet him while I try to make some plans for the day. I share the light meal with him. Dogs are so much better than humans!

Without my notice someone has sneaked up close behind me and startle me by putting a hand on my back. I jump up and turn around, grab the hand and after a quick look to se who it belongs to I give it a twist so my attacker has to bend over or suffer injury. Jeck lets out a groan. I wait a moment to make my point clear, and then release him before he can come up with some clever answer on my not so nice greeting.

"I am surprised you let me do that" I tell him

"Let my guard down for a moment." He says gruffly.

"I believed you had grown up from those silly hobbies of yours" he continues, while holding his sore wrist, easing the light pain with his healing.

"Why would I? They get the job done nice and tidy." I answer with a small laughter at the disapproving look in his eyes.

I feel foolishly brave today and enjoy playing at the edge like this. He can't do much about me no matter how I treat him. He didn't hold to his promise yesterday to explain what is going on. So I have the rights to punish him to my liking. I don't care that it was Contessa who came and separated us yesterday, with choirs and a need for company from my side. She wanted to make sure I was not angry and avoiding her anymore and it had taken several hours of carefully playing to get her to let me lose and ensure her I still did love her and would not hold her plot to put me together with Jeck against her. I ensured her with delight that I would take out all my anger directly on Jeck! She was not pleased with that answer. Not even when I ensured her he would probably just enjoy the opportunity.

"Yesterday didn't go like planed" I conclude, throwing a glance in the direction of Jecks unreadable face

"No not exactly, your sister must have a sixth sense when it comes to bad timing." He says while ruffling the fur on banners head.

"I hope you are still planning to fill me in on the rest of this mess" I say while trying to look on everything but him. We must look pretty comical I think both standing close patting the same dog and having a conversation but not looking at each other… I sign to myself wishing I could be stronger and just get over him.

"Right now if you have finished your meal" he answers and offers his hand.

Alright so what are we waiting on" I ignore his outstretched hand and walk by with banner at the front happily leading the way. I decide once again in my head that I will put all energy in this game that is started and not to think about the sensations Jeck draws from me simply by standing close.

Soon we close the door to his rooms. I push down hard on my emotions and think I manage to look calm and collected. I am leaning on a wall while Jeck sits down and says:

"I don't know if I should be happy or concerned that you are so bad at hiding your emotions. For our course right now it is a blessing but in the long run it is not quite so good."

I give him a stare of frozen hate!

"Was this the reason you dragged me all the way here? Don't you have anything better to do with your time?" I snap of.

"As you wish" he simply says, and starts explain how he three months ago got an invite/threat by an unknown player. The note said he wanted the young red moon princess, and ordered Jeck to come with her to their kingdoms big cultural festival. I interfere by asking:

"Does he mean Contessa or me? That damn thin can apply to both of us."

"That was one of the many thing I had to look up, I have yet to find his exact position in his game but know he must be pretty high in their church, a bishop I think. He has an extensive network with spies, human and not human on my playing field. They go by being missionaries or travelling merchants. Already his thoughts have infected many of our small and remote villages. As far as I can see he likes to play with many small pieces instead of the big influential ones."

"What has he done to the animal spies? I have never heard that our magic can do something like that. It is just unnatural." I ask, at least for the moment everything but the problem at hand forgotten.

"My guess is that they are manipulated in some strange way so they go in the direction he sends them. And he can always see thru them maybe even hear… I have not dared to catch any to exanimate thoroughly. For now I don't think he know I have connected them to him. That gives us an advantage like yesterday"

Did he have to drag up that now; my checks start to feel hot at the memory. He continues:

"And that takes me back at the beginning of this conversation. I will travel to se them and you will come with me as my unknowing lover, my piece that I take advantage of, important for me personally and my game. That is the picture we have to build around us. From there it can go two ways either he discusses his plans with me and we solve it one way or another or he doesn't. If so, there is where you get in. You can either play stupid and walk to him on your own account in some creative way, or I can send you. It depends on his behaviour earlier. And you can win this game from under his radar. An unknown enemy is a dangerous one!" He smiles and seems to take great pleasure in the planning of this game, I can't help but smile back as his excitement is spreading to me. But I still don't feel secure with his course of action so I ask:

"What if this is just a plot to make us leave Contessa and Costenopolie unprotected so he can play here with us away?" The idea un-nerving me.

"I agree that there is a high possibility for that so I have planned our trip so we will only be away only a week after our midwinter celebration here, and I have sent after help in the meantime."

I start to put pieces together from what I know he have been doing the last months. "Kavenlow!" I shout, the realization hitting me hard.

"That is the guest you will invite to midwinter! And he will stay, playing your game while we are away!" A longing start to ace in my chest as I think of my mentor and father at heart.

Jeck smile to me and seem to enjoy this.

"Yes we have discussed that. Even if he doesn't know the details he knows there is a need to travel away for a risky play for one week. Or to be honest he thinks you will stay with him, only me travelling, he will not approve of you going… but of course the choice is yours"

That evil demon of a captain! I curse him to the moon and back for making me chose between my beloved old master, and my current one at whose side I am supposed to play in this important game!

I hate Jeck! I also tell him that but he takes no offense. Just answers lightly:

"I like you to" and quickly jump back several steps as a safety measure.

"Back to business" he says, probably trying to distract me.

"I want you thinking thru your abilities and tell me if we should use extra time one something special. But today after your other chores we will train with the swords. The usual rules; an hours time, every death is one punishment chosen by the winner, no complains accepted."

Jeck know I hate his stupid swords; he's making me do it just to have an opportunity to take advantage of me. I don't care that he says swords are often used against you and therefore easy to get hold of. I think he's trying to teach me all his weapons of choice just to show of! At least the knife throwing practises are much easier. But even there I am no match to him yet. I try to comfort myself by remembering that there are also things I am better than him on.

"Yes should we meet at our usual place?" I ask, not bothering to argue with him now.

"I think it's best to switch back to our old one, it is less risk for spies there." He answers.

"Yes if you say so, but I would hate if Alexander or Contessa comes and finds us again! The last time I think we gave our royals a small heart attack, Contessa looked me over closely for injuries almost two months after…"

"Then it was a good thing our healing lessons went so well isn't it?"

"Yea I suppose so. Do you have any more information you want to chare with me?" Its starting to itch in my fingers, I am ready to jump on this mountain of information and see what I can make out of it. It is hard to sit still and listen when I know someone is messing with my kingdom. It takes almost an hour to go thru all info he have collected. I ask many questions like how he can be so certain it is a man we are up against, if the identity is still unknown. And what the invitation said in detail, and so on.

When I close the door to his rooms behind me and go to get some lunch, my head feel heavy of everything we have discussed. But my tiredness also comes from being so close to him. And trying to stay on focus and survive the different sneaky comments he sends in my direction. It was like he had some hidden agenda to either make me try to kill him or fall into his arms. Because I could still not decide how I do both at the same time I tried to act like yesterday had not happened, ignoring him all I could manage.

But I am not sure how long before I make a mistake. It almost seems like he really can't wait to get close to me. Such a stupid thought!


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Ff any of you has forgotten, I do not own any of the character or the story. Everything god is the property of Dawn Cook. (Do I need to write this every chapter?)_

_A/N: hope you people that read this like it, feel free to comment if I need to clarify something or you have other thoughts. Thank you!_

Chapter 4

Over a quiet meal in the small dining room I start to think back on what I have been training on the last year with my new master. There have been a lot of different defences, like our lessons with the swords and other weapons. But we have also had a lot of lessons on tactics, practical psychology and issues regarding our magic. Such as contact with animal, changing memories and emotions, staying unnoticed and what we can do with our hands. Some of these things go so easy for me I have to stay focussed so I don't do it unconsciously in my everyday life. It feels frightening sometimes to think of what I have become!

A lot of the practise is also about control, as I have to make sure I don't dose myself up by accident. The puntas poison feels so natural to me by now, I hardly noticing it in my blood. My level is not dropping, but stays at what Jeck have concluded is a relatively safe level. The wind is free from me, but can be accessed as easily as I slip into an animal around me. In secret I have also tried to experiment on slipping into humans' heads. Jeck probably has a guess of what I am doing but let it be. I don't want to admit to anyone how easy this goes for me. I am always careful not to pry or disturb the ones I visit. It's especially easy when they are asleep, and dreams are wondrous things to watch.

I have also put extra time to learn my shores as an ambassador, traveling around in our country and meeting important people. People that have had a hard time figure out how to act around me in my new position.

I think my personal ambassador project is especially fascinating and fun. I collected the city's different guild masters and declared that I wanted to start a collaboration with them to tighten the bond between the guilds and the palace. So there was to be an ambassador visiting them, so they could explain about their areas of expertise. Here they had immediately stared shouting about how they did not want some low palace guard coming and spy on them!

And when I had answered that I felt sad that they did not want me with them, they was startled for a moment. But soon started shouting that it was a far to simple job for me, and that the royals humiliated me by ordering something like this. I managed to calm the crowd down and explained that this was totally my own idea and that I was honestly interested in their different works. They had agreed.

Soon I had a planned a meeting with one guild each week. They got used to the idea and often seemed real honored by my visit. I on the other hand broadened my understanding of how the city works, and learned a lot of handy things at the same time. My hidden agenda was that I in the future would not need to count on Jeck with the different things from meals to carpentry.

I decided to make time to see some of the most useful guilds again in the near future. And in my mind I picked out some topics in tactics and magic that I wanted to work on more with Jeck. I came up with the idea I would suggest to him that we'd start a new competition against each other. Those competitions were often thing like; trying to get close unnoticed; finish a pre-set mission, or getting away from different obstacles. We competed most of our time anyway, but with the rules and timeframes it became more secure and put a little extra pressure on us. I enjoy those innocent games.

As I finish my meal I feel good that I have managed to decide on a course for the near future, the goal is to keep me occupied, to hinder myself from thinking to much on Kavenlow or Jeck. I get to my room to change into my training outfit and then start to walk unnoticed to our court. Because we both are so stubborn it can get dirty when we practice, and we don't want the wrong kind of people seeing what we can, and how we defend ourselves.

I draw on a little of my magic and concentrates on how unimportant I am so that the people I walk past that sees me just don't put me into their memory. There is many ways to get to the same result, and I try to switch between different methods to keep my mind open.

When I get to the big room in a far away corner of the castle I see that Jeck is already there, warming up. His body flexing easily as he bend inn different directions. Chu pitt! How am I supposed to fight with him, when I can't even stop thinking of him…

"I have sent some of the dogs to keep watch, they will let us know if someone is coming." He tells me as he finishes his exercise.

"Yes that is good" I answer, walking toward the training swords he has put on the middle of the floor. I start to warm up close to them with my back to him, trying to put away all thoughts, to get a blank mind like I know he does when he's fighting. I hear how he takes up his sword and start to swing it in secure moves while waiting for me to get ready. I gulp one time, and try to think positive as I listen to the whistle of sliced air he creates with the dull blade.

I have gotten better! I can sometime hold him of for as long as ten minutes, I will be fine!

But in reality I can't fool myself with the pep talk in my head. As I take up my sword I ready myself for a really humiliating hour.

We have just put away the swords, my legs and arms are trembling. I try and catch my breath while whipping the sweat from my face. It was too long since our last practice, I got tired early, and the last half of the pass he could easily disarm me as many times he wanted. I have 8 loses, and now I fear what he will make me do.

"That was fun" he says with a big grin on his face. I just grump something unrecognisable and concentrate on taking deep breaths.

"So if my counting was not totally of, I have 8 punishments to give to you" he says, still smiling. The demon just likes to torture me!

"Do you want to hear them all in one go, or one at a time?"

"Whatever you feel like" I answer, just eager to get it over with. Earlier punishments have included everything from cleaning the latrine, to a days worth of weapon exercises.

But it has happened that I have won too. That I can count those times on my fingers and it mostly was pure luck or a big mistake from Jecks side that made those possible, is dampening the feeling of success pretty much.

"Then I think I will give them to you one at a time to savour the sweet taste of success a bit" he says, snickering.

"Do as you wish" I repeat tiredly.

He gets close to me and I back of a step. He slowly follows me. A trickle of fear together with a knot of excitement and anticipation start building inside me. I take another uncertain step back.

"Jeck?" The question is hanging unanswered in the air as he takes a second wickedly slow step closer, looking me deep in the eyes. I believe I can read a longing but also uncertainness there, hiding under a thin mask of indifference.

Finally he stops, looking at me, and does a little bow before me.

"Then the first punishment will be for you, this evening, to accompany me to a lovely restaurant I have seen not far from the palace." I stare at him in surprise, trying to come up with an appropriate answer. Breathing hard again.

He answers in my stead by saying:

"Yes I will be there and ready in good time for supper, is the answer you are searching for I believe" Then fast and soft as an autumn leaf he strokes the back of his hand against my cheek and leaves the room in a brisk walk whistling.

I slumps down to the floor, drained both physically and emotionally. I am just looking at the place he was last seen. To the empty room I say:

"This will not work for much longer, I will break! And what will happen after that?… I close my mouth and eyes, resting in myself for a moment, as I do not know any answer to my question.


	5. Chapter 5

I came out from the bath feeling heavenly clean, but nervousness tingled all over my body. Without me noticing I must have dosed myself up on venom, my hands are humming. I let the sensation go and take deep breaths, remembering myself to stay calm as to not accidently kill me. We don't actually know if it is possible for me to overdose myself, or if the venom in my tissue is giving me some sort of protection, like what the punta itself has. But it is little too dangerous to experiment with my life on the line, so I have to consider the possibility for danger.

I take some time getting in one of my nicer dresses, hiding two knives in my thin leader boots. Lastly putting up my still damp hair in a topknot, I don't have my usual darts in it, but decide to help keep it in place with some useful and decorative metal needles instead. Just in case.

The reasons I don't have any venom is:

1. That I can dose myself up whenever I want, (or don't want)

2. That Jeck is a worrywart that doesn't want me to have any sign on my apprenticeship on me, for safety reasons of course…

3. That I can't make myself to kill a punta to get it. Jeck have to do it by himself. I did follow one time in the beginning, but could not stand it! I just couldn't!

The conclusion is: no venom for me.

When I feel dressed appropriate for this strange punishment, I go outside my rooms and prepare to wait for Jeck in the empty corridor. He can forget that I will go and fetch him, punishment or no punishment. If he wants me to come with him, he will have to follow the correct order of such tings. Unfortunate I don't have to wait long before I see Jeck walk towards me, clean and neatly dressed in black. He looks stunning in the dim lights from the lamps on the walls in the corridor, while offering his arm towards me he gives me a smile. My hand shakes only slightly as I put it on his extended arm and follow him out in the night.

The clock is after midnight, I lie in my bed, looking at the stripe of moonlight that is painted on my floor, unable to fall asleep. The evening's events is going thru my head over and over again.

He had guided me to the restaurant, a fancy place for the rich. The food was pre ordered and a small table was set with the starters, two glasses of wine and a lit candle. In the distance someone was playing an instrument of some sort. Despite my worries we had a fun meal. He entertained me with small stories from his life in Misdev. The food was good and the atmosphere relaxed. But as the dessert got cleaned out his mood seamed to darken, he said:

"Tess" then noting more, that one word full of emotions.

We stood up in unison and he offered his hand as if we were to leave. I took a step closer to him magnetized. Very slowly he bends forward and gives me a soft kiss, I answered hotly. He moved away his face a bit and instead put his arm around my waist, I let him hold me. And like that, we then leave the restaurant in a silent understanding. He guides me to my room and begins to turn around to go, I grab his hand and use the momentum to turn him around, and gives him a kiss of my own. The moment extends, none of us was willingly to part. He gave me a last hug and leaved me saying he was looking forward to the coming seven punishments.

So here I am, up to my head in love with my master; a dangerous player with an unscrupulous personality. Chu pit! I curse, and turn around once more in the bed, prepared for a sleepless night as the moonlight slowly disappears.

I wake up by hearing Contessas voice in my ear.

"What have you done?! And why have you not told me! Why do I get to hear everything as the last person in this whole country?"

Drowsy I look up at her.

"What do you mean?" I do not quite understand the situation, that I must have left my door unlocked, is the first thought I manage to put together.

"That you and Jeck were out on a very intimate date yesterday of course!" She tells me, as I crawl out of my bed and splash some water in my face to wake up.

"Ah, actually that was a punishing because I lost to him" I say, finally starting to understand what Contessa is talking about.

It have to be you two, needing to put it that way" she says, one eyebrow raised.

"What?" I ask

"But please tell me! What exactly happened? I want to hear everything!" She says, and drags me down on my couch.

"Contessa, I'm still in my nightclothes, can't you wait a bit?" I say whinny.

"And beside, I didn't get to much sleep tonight so…" here I get cut of because a wide eyed Contessa hugs me tightly, cry out happily and says:

"Ohh Tess you just have to tell me everything!"

"Ah, it's not like that!" I say while blushing, understanding what conclusion she jumped to by my words.

"I just couldn't sleep because I was thinking. If you let me get dressed and finish my morning toilet I will tell you. Deal?"

Contessa pout a little, not completely satisfied. But she let me at least go and get myself ready.

When I get out again she is still sitting on my couch, in the meantime she have ordered in sandwiches and hot tea to be placed on the table in front of her. I sit down and start to try explaining yesterday's events and my feelings about them. I did not leave anything out. (Except the parts that had to do with players of course.) I tried to be hones because I was sure the rumours had already made it out to be bigger than it was already, she deserved to hear from me if anybody. To her it was a mission to get us together.

Contessa couldn't sit still as I paused to pour me some tea halfway thru my story. The tea was exactly the right temperature, and someone had put a big spoon honey in it. Lovely! As I sat and savoured the taste, Contessa looked at me, happy as a little child. I finished the story between sips on my hot cup, I expected her to ask for more details. But she just sat still; seemed to think about something. After a moment she spoke up:

"Tess I am so happy for you, but why don't you want to do it in the usual order? If we could have you engaged already like how it is normally done, it would be both better and safer for you. You know there is the possibility of children to think about." She started to sound stern. I blushed at her words. She had said it like she was a fisher wife, lecture her sailor boy for playing with girls in the docks.

It felt wrong. But I could not tell her that there was no possibility for children for either Jeck or me. The biggest possibility for us was actually disaster. So I just kept quiet, squirming around on the couch until she decided I was uncomfortable enough, and dropped the subject.

And so with new energy she jumps up, give me another fast hug and say:

"You will promise me to tell me what's happening. I don't want to know last!"

"That is the fate of the royals" I answer her, a little smile on my face.

"Sometime you even get to know the rumours about yourself last. It can be really interesting sometimes!"

"Yes, I have noticed that!" She says then stretches, fix her dress that have got a little out of place on her delicate figure, and walks toward the door. Her expression looks so much like our mother. I follow her out; the food is left untouched on my table.

The following days have flown by in a blur. We have planned, played, trained and enjoyed each others company, from morning to night each day. It feels like some unknown weight in the air has finally left me. I can concentrate so much easier when I don't need to stop myself from thinking on Jeck all the time. We tease each other massively, but we enjoy it just as much.

As an example; in tactic yesterday I let my fingers play over his hand when he reached to give me a new map. To see the shock and enjoyment in his eyes as he outwardly tries to ignore me and continue the lesson with a smirk on his lips is so fun to watch. I think I'm becoming a naughty student!

The official dinner as ambassador I have to attend this evening also has possibilities to become interesting. Jeck is not invited but I think the rumours of us will be flying around a lot. I know it is supposed to be so, but do the people really don't have better things to chit chat about. That they will imagine that I do not hear them if they just don't talk directly to me… The absurdity in that is enough to make me laugh. I am planning to use the evening to confuse them, bind then close to the crown and without them understanding how, make them agree on my or Contessas and Alexander's suggestions, even thou some of the guest think of me as a whore at the moment.

If this "scandal" had taken place in the time when I was still the princess I am not sure I could feel comfortable while dealing with it; and definitely not taken great pleasure from it in the meantime. But now I have a confidence in myself and my place in the world that I was missing then. What the nobles is thinking about me is not important anymore.

So much has happened in a short amount of time. If I only go five years back in time I could see my whole life ahead of me; as the princess with a chosen husband, living in the shadow of my parents.

But now just some years later I have found a sister I did not even know I had, lost my parents just to gain a new father in Kavenlow. I also lost my royalty only to find that even the royals are just pieces in the games we players are playing. Everything I believed to known have changed, and I can even do magic that is totally unheard of, playing even with the players themselves if I have the courage to try. I had to leave Kavenlow but found Jeck. And now we two are planning a real grand game!

I have absolutely no idea where my destiny will bring me in the future.

I shake my head, and go to meet the important dignitaries from our noble houses as well as the visiting celebrities.

"Let the game begin!"

3


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It is late evening; I am finally able to go into my rooms after an exhausting day. Filled with all kinds of last minute preparations for the midwinter and Jecks departure, now we should be ready. Jeck is already riding away quietly in the cover of this moonless night too, as he says:  
"Get a feel for the playing field, and put out some surprises of my own."

Considering all our carful planning and multilayered traps, I think to myself we may have overestimated our enemy, he can't be so dangerous.

As I close my door behind me I see something sparkle in the other end of the room. I directly turn and look around me, at the same time as my fingers close around the thin handle of a throwing knife hidden in my dress. Now ready for bad surprises I carefully close the distance in the dim light from a single candle.

When I get to my bed I see it is just a sparkling black-bluish stone on my pillow, small enough to hold in one hand. Small prism lights seem to emit from the centre of it. It looks like a starry sky; more details appear the longer I look, it is mesmerizing.

I take it up in my hand to exanimate the strange and beautiful stone closer. It feels wet to the touch. Thinking it must be a present from someone who knows me and my taste for exotic things well. Maybe it is a parting gift from Jeck, after all he has just left, even thou it doesn't feel like his style.

I smile and hold the stone tightly in my closed fist, only to shortly thereafter open my hand again, eager to gaze at the small diamond sky. When I look down on my hand I freeze as I see blood on it. I let the stone drop to the floor, and stare at the words written in blood on my palm.

With difficulty I can interpret, "You are mine"

I shudder and hurry to wash the blood of me. Suddenly a feeling of insecurity settles over me. Whose blood is it?

What is the meaning of the strange message?

How did they get it into my locked room?

And who is the sender?

I carefully search every corner in my rooms trying to find clues. Noting out of the ordinary, no sign of break-in and noting is missing. But it had to bee someone here recently, seeing how the blood was still fresh. That means someone had to watch me to know what time I should be back…

I pick up the stone in the corner of a napkin, careful not to touch it again. I make a knot around the package and put it away as I go and get a new pillow. I will definitely not sleep on the pillow that has been the bearer of a bloody message. The thoughts are running fast in my head, three weeks till midwinter.

What must be done now and what should I tell Jeck?

He has ordered no contact as our letters can get snatched. The most important thing in our plans is that our enemy doesn't get to know of my apprenticeship. For a moment I play with the thought to try and find his mind and show him what I have seen.

I disregard the idea fast, not sure I can succeed with the distance, not wanting to dose myself up enough to try, and definitely not wanting to receive his wrath at finding me in his head. After all he directly ordered me to stay away after that first time at the pirate incident. I may be disobedient but it is noting wrong with my memory.

I shudder when thinking of the times I secretly has followed his dreams in my personal experiments. I can't imagine what horror he would arrange for me if he knew that. So just to be sure I send up a little prayer hoping he never will find out.

I will contact Jeck in some way if the need is dire, but until then I will not count on someone other playing my parts for me. Whoever it is that is trying to scare me, I will not let them succeed.

The next morning, I started to pay a visit to my sister and her husband to make sure they were alright, and to check if they had noticed something out of the ordinary. We chatted for a while but noting of value came out of it. So I went to my guard officer to talk to them instead. Regardless of all my efforts the day went by without me getting closer to an answer of the mystery. I had even talked to the jewellery guild and eavesdropped at the servants to try and find out something.

When I couldn't make up any more ways to get information, I sat down and tried to put the small pieces I got together in a plausible pattern. The stone was unusual this far north but pretty cheap to buy in the southern countries. Nobody had wandered the halls last nights as far as the guards had seen, and nothing other unusual had taken place lately. Only a few new staff members have got employment in the last months and as far as I can see no one of them is suspicious. This whole affair smells of player from miles away. I just don't now how to get to him or she yet.

After another busy day I decide to not worry more, but to keep my eyes open for clues. I go to toughly search my rooms again, to se if something more have appeared, it have not. My room is clear so I go to bed content.

An hour after midnight I wake up sweaty of a bad dream. At least it had missed the signs of the prophetic ones; from time to time I have them nowadays and it is troublesome. I can't calm down enough to go back to sleep instantly so instead I stay up and wanders back and forth in my room for a while. Finally the monotone actions calm me and I feel sleepy enough to go back to bed. My last thought before drifting of to sleep again is; wish Jeck was here so I can tell him everything, that jerk…

Around a week later when I came back from a meeting with some key people in the lower city I found the palace in uproar. The reason is that at noon when two guards came to replace their colleagues, they found them murdered. No one knows how it happened or why. At the moment everyone is running around and nothing seems to be done.

So without a second thought I take command, send a runner to tell the royals about the issue, at the same time I put together a big group people that begins to search the grounds and buildings from top to bottom. I prepare myself to go look at the dead, I will probably hate it because I know all guards, and some have served here for my entire life. But I feel determined to find the rotten bandit that did this!

I use some time to think up a priority list. Are any of the royals the target? Am I? Was it to set an example, for what? And why do it right now, and not the night or another more easy time. How could this connect to our big plans, it is not a lunatic because it was so well executed. "Chu pit!" I swear as I stomp of toward the area where the guard had worked.

I decide it is probably for me this thing is laid out. Especially after finding a small bluish stone in a pocket on each guard, they were strangled with a small object around two hours back. There are some signs that they tried to fight their attackers. The smell and sight is horrible, no matter how hard I try to keep my mind blank I se scenes from their life flash in my memory.

I have to take a pause to puke in a pot someone conveniently stretches out towards me. I mumble my thanks when I trust my voice, and accept the water bottle the same person offer me.

"I want those devils captured and punished." he tells me with low voice, anger sparkling in his honest eyes.

"Yes of course. We will give them what they deserve." I answer him, making it a promise to myself as much as to him. It doesn't matter if these people was *just pieces*. To me they were important humans in my big and slightly confusing family.

Happily no one has started to clean the place yet, so I can rescue even small clues without the need to wonder if they are tampered with.

I continue to exanimate them and the place of the crime in hope of finding something useful. To my surprise I find not only one but several pieces of information I can work with.

Quickly I leave the area and draw on my magic to stay unnoticed. It was at the last minute. I hear an argument start somewhere behind me as I walk briskly out of a corridor. The voices raise between an angry Contessa and a guard that try to denial her something. Probably accesses to the room were the dead is.

I am looking for a person that is not from around here with red hair. When he killed them he was wearing at least one pieces of unbleached fabric, probably a part of his cloths; a robe or something like it. I have collected the red hair and the small piece of fabric to further studies if necessary.

It is not a player I am looking for, but the person is somehow manipulated by one. It is most likely a really long male from the angle of the choking mark. And he has some emblem in relief on him; part of the pattern could be seen on the skin of one of his victim.

I am searching methodically through the city from place to place. He could already have run away, but something tells me he is still here. Whatever the reason for that may be…

Around an hour and a half later I step unnoticed in to yet another tavern. It is of the quieter sort, with pretty decent food without being fancy. The eating guests looking up when I enter but directly loses interest at the mundane city woman I seam to be. At the bar sits a lone person that not even turn around, he is a well muscled southern priest, in their special unbleached coat. His hair seems to be the same color as the few strands I found, even thou I cant se much of it when he has his hood up. I take a table close to the door and start to think. A quiet maid come and asks if I want to order something. I thank her and just ask for some water.

Jeck always nag if I rush into the situations, not observing them first. I don't agree with him but my suspect seems in no hurry, so I can just as well use the time.

I decide that to try and get into the enemies head with my magic hidden weapon seems to be the best start. I make myself comfortable, let out more venom in my blood. When my eyesight is slightly blurry, I fall into the familiar breathing pattern of tree short, pause, tree short, pause. And in the same time I concentrate on the priest letting myself ignore all other sound only trying to get to him.

First I can't get a feel of his mind at all; it is really hard to find a new person I don't know at all. The time pass unnoticed, the stranger drinking alone and I trying to understand his being. The water in front of me is totally forgotten. Finally I succeed to slink into his head, but all I hear is a never ending pray. It seams he devotedly repeat it over and over, unhurried as if noting else matter than the thread of words.

"Why?" I whisper the word in his mind, making him believe it is his own thought. I feel the sweat drip from my face and one of my legs is shaking uncontrolled.

First noting happens, but then the prayer start to waver, as if the words were made of hot air. Other thoughts coming thru the openings, they sound like quotes of some sort.

"Follow the path and peace will find you"

"Only one god, almighty in his wisdom"

"To succeed you must leave now, and give of you wisdom in the dark countries! The sun will lead you"

"Listen to me, only me"

"This is right, you will be forgiven"

Why god? Why must I carry such heavy burden?

The last sentence is said with his own voice, the sentence opening up to a well of dark emotions. Guilt and shame fill his mind first. Then a dark overwhelming feeling of despair tries to drown both of us. I slowly move away, back to my own mind but can not completely shake of the bad feelings that cling to me.

Looking up at him now, he has slid down and lay over the bar desk moaning. I stand up and walk closer, uncertain what I should do. Then out of the blue, he lets out a high scream that is not sounding human and falls down on the dirty floor. I rush forward and several other guests do the same, when we arrive a moment later he lies head down, lifeless, not even visibly breathing.

"What the heck just happened?" a big sailor says, as he try to shake life in the fallen.

"He is dead" An old woman says, as a matter of fact. And do the sign for bad luck.

Several people backs away, someone screams. I feel empty, only half believing the old woman. Now the taverns owner moves the crowd by pushing them aside and raises his voice.

"You fine people will not start make rumors because of one unlucky lad. There is nothing wrong with either the food or the drinks here. I have sent after the city guards to fetch him, and ensure you all it was a natural death.

He continues stubbornly, not letting anyone break in:

"Such tings happen. Damn this priest to make an appointment with his god here of all places. So stop starring now and go back to your tables until this is properly settled. I am sure the fine guards want a word with all of you."

Why? The word is bumping around in my head and a terrible feeling grinds in my stomach. Was it my fault he died? How?

I feel dirty and uneasy. It is hard just to keep up the magic to help me stay unnoticed. Everyone around me is talking fast and low with each other, casting brief glances at the corpse. They are uneasy and I unconscious push them further in that direction with my own feelings. I take some deep breaths, forcefully calm myself down and send out that calmness to my surroundings. Instantly the mob eases up a little. I use up the rest of the free venom in my body to let the crowd forget me for a moment and then get out and hurry back shaking in my whole body. Today turned out to bee a terribly hard day. I just hope tomorrow will be better!


	7. Chapter 7

_Nothing good or important in this story belongs to me. _

_Dawn Cook is the amazing writer. I am the copycat. _

_I will try to put out the chapters as fast as possibly. If you like what I do, or dislike it and think I'm bad at it, please let me know. _

_Those small words that takes you a few minutes to write, gives me confidence for a month or longer. Honestly, if you tell me what you think, I will put even more energy in getting out the chapters faster and better! _

_Good luck_

Soon I understand that this day has yet to give me more trouble. I dump my tired and acing body down in my bed, to let the sleep carry me away in its soft embrace.

My surroundings are cloudy and wavy as if I am trying to look at it from underwater.

"Chu pit! I should've known that all that extra venom would push me in one of these prophetic dreams" I say to myself.

Then I concentrate on my breathing, and try to just receive the feelings of the dream. It is hard, because in contrast to a real dream, right now I am aware of all the strange things I see. If I react to them, I will change the dream to something I would expect to happen, instead of what the future will really be like.

I stand in a big empty building of stone; I can't hear anything and my vision continue to billows, making me dizzy. Instead feelings are flowing unnaturally strong against my senses. This dream doesn't behave like I am used to.

In the corner of my eye I see someone close a hidden door in the corridor outside of the room I am in. I get a felling of glee and anticipation from someone else than me. Maybe the person I just saw.

The situation change, now I stand in the middle of a big crowd. I can't see anything other than the many bodies, which is moving and screaming close around me. They are behaving like some kind of big mindless animal, and the whole situation scares me.

My ears still can't hear anything, other than a strange empty swishing sound, which has been there for the whole dream, but I only recently am able to focus on. I feel sick, and all kinds of emotions push hard towards me, knotting into each other. It's a lot of different upset feelings around me, but before I get a chance to make any sense of it, the dream changes one more time.

Now I am running toward a gypsy wagon in an unknown city, it is evening. The white unbleached dress I'm wearing is fluttering around my ankles, making it hard not to fall. I'm in a great hurry, and it is important I get there in time. I also have a feeling I'm running to find a person I know, or at least has met before.

One last time the scenery change, and this time are different. The whole dream is more normal. (If you can call a prophetic dream normal under any circumstances) The underwater feel is gone, and my hearing is back.

I am in a basement of some big place. It is several people in a big room ahead; I stand in the shadows and walk slowly toward them. One person is lying down on a table, screaming.

I get closer, and can now see the tree men more clearly. Terrified I see it is Jeck that is bound to the table, seemingly tortured by the two other people; I hurry forward to help him. Not able to just stand by and watch anymore.

Jeck look up as I run for him, he stops me with his eyes. I ignore him and try to continue forward, it feels like walking thru glue.

"Tess" he says with a rough cracked voice. I feel my heart ace and don't know what feelings are real anymore. But I really don't care! I am both angry and afraid at this possibly future.

"You have to go, you know it. Hurry up!"

"No!" I protest, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"You have to!" He says again, sounding tired but stern.

The two other persons are standing still while we speak, preparing something nasty with their backs to us. Either they can't hear us, or are just ignoring us.

"You already did the choice, stay by it." Jeck says firmly.

"What choice?" I ask, trying to get some information out of this horrible mess.

He doesn't get the chance to answer, as the two human monsters put something in his lower back that makes him scream. And no matter how I fight, I get farther away from him until everything around me is blackness.

I wake up shaking and drenched in cold sweat. It is still early morning, and I painfully roll out of my bed to land on the thick mat. Unable to do anymore than sit there on the floor, I try to make sense of the things that I seen. Why had the first tree situations been so strange and waving? What in Mithos name could the last dream mean? I still feel the terror from it all cling to me, like a bad smell.

I don't know how long I sat like that, trying to fit my cracked reality back together. A loud knock on my door wake me from my brooding. Heater get in with a big smile on her face, I did not get a chance to answer to her knock, or even get up from the floor. Her smile falls of as she hurries towards me.

"Tess is you sick, hurt, what happened?"

I weakly say something about a bad dream and that I am feeling better. I can't tell if she hears me. And even if she did hear, she did definitely not believe me. In a heartbeat she is back, acting as my old maid. In a matter of moments she makes sure the hot bathwater is ready, that I get out of my cold and wet nightdress, that I am not hurt or feverish.

All in all, I'm fussed over in a very familiar and soothing way. In the bath tube with heather massaging my neck and shoulders to get the stiffness out of them, I start to feel human again.

"You don't even listen to me." She complains

"No, I do listen" I lie

"Not a chance! I just told you the reason I was coming to see you so early, were because I have got information that Kavenlows ship has been spotted by the early fishermen. I wanted to give you the good news first!"

"What! Kavenlow? But it is at least 5 days until he's expected!" I turn around in the bath to face Heater, look her seriously in the face.

"I guess he must have got permission to go early then." She tells me while shrugging, not aware of the different problems in the shadows that make this news so big for me.

"But, but that means he will arrive today! What should I wear? Where will we meet? And what will we talk about!" The thoughts are spinning in my head while I babble. I feel feverish, even thou Heater have just concluded my temperature being normal. Too much is happening right now.

"Heh. you really look forward to meeting him" Heater answers with a small smile on her face.

"Yes, but I also feel terrified at the same time," I admits to my oldest friend.

"Heater will you check if my dark blue dress is washed and…" I trail of, remembering that heater is no longer my maid to command.

"Sorry, I should not ask you do these things it is not your responsibility anymore." I feel guilty to not have thought twice about letting her work when she came here to visit.

"It is always my responsibility to look after you, especially if I find you in such a sorry state like this morning. Beside you can't stop me when you are not properly dressed, can you?" She teases me, sounding like she really enjoys herself.

"No I suppose not" I answer her with a tired laugh, feeling sheepish. If she wants to do something she will make sure it happens. Like she always have. I do know

The combined force of having Heater there, and knowing I would see Kavenlow in just a few hours; helped to distract me from bad thoughts of the future. I even succeeded to slip by most of her questions about my and Jecks relationship. Sure she continued and demanded more info for at least half an hour while I was dried and dressed. By my experience it is nothing compared to how it would have been if I told her everything.

My world may be strange, but with heater in it I think I can manage.


End file.
